[Philosophical Moment]

This past week has been a very stressful one for me. I've been going non-stop trying to get all the last little things together to make my travel a smooth one, and as usually happens, I ran myself too hard and crashed in the form of an ear infection. I'm just about ready to hit the road, but I'm still nervous as fuck.

The reason is I'm about to go through a monumental change in my life. I'm going to grad school, I'm going to be living in another country, I'm going to be cut off from all the people I know and surroounded by people I don't. Bigger than that, I realized in living with the folks again, is this is the first time I'll be living without the support structure of my family, who I've always relied upon.

This is NOT a bad thing for me, I'm starting to understand. It's a huge change, but it can be the source of huge improvements. I'm going to have to take command of a lot of things that, until now, I've left to chance. In college I met most of my friends through a single person that liked to be in charge of other people's lives, and while I've singled out the ones I prefer over the years, I'd rather have met them on my own terms. Jobs are things that are usually gotten through friends, and that'll always be a factor, but for what I want to do, I'm going to have to make my own connections in a real hurry. It's going to be hard, but if/ when I get through it, I'll be a better person.

This year in England is going to be a telling point on a lot of aspects of my life. All I can do is hope I can make the best of it, and do everything to see it done. "Do! Or do not. There is no try."

[/Philosophical Moment]