Ryan at Falmouth!!

Bloguation!

2007-11-24T10:17:00.000Z

Today's the big day! Everyone puts on fashionable black dresses and funny hats! Yep, that's right, it's the Oscars.

Alright, you caught me, it's Graduation Day.

My former comrades in Butler R&R would look at the procedure for today and giggle. We pick up our tickets right before we arrive and the whole ceremony last 45 minutes, supposedly. There's talk of an afterparty put on by the school but I've heard conflicting stories so I'll believe it when I'm eating. I would imagine, the ceremony taking place on a Saturday in the middle of the term, they're not too worried about everything being just so, but the situation doesn't really inspire much confidence.

I've confessed that I would like to walk in on a class while I'm here, just to see what the new group is like. I've even heard tell of another American in the course this year. USA REPRESENT. It's going to be neat to see Tremough campus again today.

It's getting time to get ready so I'm ending here. I'll have a couple more updates before this blog's run its course I think.

I've Caught the Blog

2007-11-01T16:28:00.000Z

So I've not paid a whole lot of attention to this blog - or the web for that manner - in a while. That's not right. For one thing, the web gives us lots of shiny things to look at. For another, I will be counting on the web and its various capacities for my bread and butter not too long from now (I HOPE!!!). Now then, let's see what's happening.

The Colts, 7-0, face the Patriots, longtime rivals and also 7-0, on Sunday. American football is about the only sport I get excited to watch these days, and then just with the Colts. A quick check on ebay shows that there are pairs of tickets on sale for as much as $3,500. My dad sold the VW for less, much less. I know a couple of people who are going just because one works at the radio station; now football's one of those sports that's usually better to watch on TV since in person you can't see as much, and it's this property alone that keeps me from going into homicidal jealous rages.

On the subject of rages, my parents' second car has gone kaput, which means until we come up with a solution we're three working people with one car. We've worked it so far so that all three of us can manage, but it's incredibly limiting. We'd go to St. Louis and steal my car back from my sister... if we had a car.

My baby brother took my cell phone when I left for England, and when I returned my number was in a phone that shuts itself off after two minutes. I wanted a phone with the ability to store contact information and some data, something like a PDA, but as anyone who's looked at cell phones knows those get pricey. I had $100 in equipment credit from Verizon but even that doesn't bring it down enough, AND using the credit apparently disqualifies me from other available discounts. I'd been doing legwork and research for a few days now and I'm ready to agree with the general opinion: Verizon has an amazing network and complete shit for customer service. So I ordered a phone online in an attempt to screw as many Verizon employees out of work as possible. With luck I should be hearing the dog bark its head off in a couple of hours and then I can start praying to the Patron Saint/ Aztec god of new toys Technocatyl that I can make it work.

And on making things work, I'm working on updating my web site. I was going to be content with fresh content, a few color scheme touches and that's it, but then Brad starts telling me about things like CSS and streamlined content management systems (NOT Mambo, fellow bloc editors!!!!), and if this works out it'll mean a very VERY different site. I'll be able to update it at a moment's notice from the web AND keep an integrated blog on the site. So if that works out that's where I'll keep my new blog.

20 days and I go to Falmouth to graduate. I'm really excited to see everyone again, excited to go back to a beautiful, historic, and charismatic corner of the world, and excited to sue UCF for discrimination. You see, I'm pretty sure they arranged the date of the ceremony specifically to discourage US citizens out of their Thanksgiving holiday. As soon as I've got my evidence together, all I need to do is take it to a barrister, set up an expense account in Cornwall, maintain a working correspondence...

...you know, I may just have to let it slide.

Blogging my Face Off

2007-10-31T02:04:00.000Z

Just a quick note to let everyone know I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth, but might have tried to claw the eyes out of it once or twice. Things that were crazy have gone purely mental.

-Gone from three cars to one in the house in two weeks.
-The quest for a new cell phone has more up and down slopes than Kings Island and Six Flags put together.
-My hours at the comic book store are getting more interesting all the time. It's as much fun as I could hope for but all of a sudden a lot of hours are opening up and I can't take the ones they're offering me.
-My quest to start selling material keeps running into pitfalls, but I AM making progress. It's minute but it counts, dammit!

I'm exhausted now. Me sleep.

No, That Cable Goes to the Engine Blog

2007-10-06T20:06:00.000Z

I am declaring myself officially over jet lag AND MA-related exhaustions. I have little choice.

Monday I start working at the Comic Carnival. It's bad in that it's a retail job that I worked before, so there's the feeling that I'm taking a step backward, but it's great in that it's work and coworkers I know I enjoy and can feed my literary addictions for cheap. Plus it's not so many hours that I can't do anything else. Hooray!

Plans are underway to liberate my mother's gym membership for my own ends. Don't tell her, she likes surprises. Looking after a friend's toddlers for a few hours makes for good exercise in the meantime, though, even with said friend there as well.

My resume (CV to the British audience) and portfolio are more or less polished up, so it's to me to hunt for those freelance jobs I pray exist here. As I hunt for these, I'll be editing some stories and hunting for places to sell them to.

I say all of this so that, knowing some people do read this thing, I'll feel extra pressure to actually follow through on it.

Incidentally, the eBay auctions end Monday, and it's looking like I'll see at least enough for that phone I need. One relief, anyway.

I am going to miss treating myself like a recovering patient. It's been, I suppose refreshing is the word, just relaxing and not pushing myself anywhere. Still, it's common knowledge I'm my own worst critic, and I've called myself a sloven do-nothing just one time too many. Now I have to show me that I'm a lying ignorant jabbermouth and CAN in fact do something with myself.

Too bad, as I was THIS close to starting a Netflix account.

Blogbending

2007-09-22T16:32:00.000Z

I really should have seen this coming.

I have a pretty good history of running myself into the dirt to finish things. A number of times in my last job I'd work very stressful days for weeks at a time, well past my limit, and crash hard. Not in the cute 'I stayed in bed all day' way, but in the 'my immune system shuts down and become incredibly ill' way. It used to take way longer than normal for my body to catch back up, and the entire time I kicked myself for not being able to do anything. I dislike not being able to do anything.

Despite my insanity with the MA project and massive miles travelled, I've avoided the debilitating illness, for which I'm puzzled and immensely grateful. I've still crashed, though, and true to form it's not going away quickly. Though I've more or less adapted to the local time zone and sleep pattern, I still wake up like I did last Tuesday when I came home: sore and jet-lagged. I've been pitching in around the house but that minor activity exhausts me.

I'm selling a few things on eBay soon, using an exercise we did early in the year to help boost sales. My hope is to earn enough money to get a new phone and to clear a few cobwebs. Can't crash forever, no matter how many games Squaresoft puts out.

I am now Blogworthy

2007-09-17T15:35:00.001Z

So it's been almost a week since I got back to my motherland. I can just about trust myself around people again, though it seems I've developed a tendency to mutter obscenities of a varied nature. I'm pretty sure it's a tenacious symptom of jet lag combined with coming down from the anxieties of finishing the MA. Everyone that's noticed seems to believe it, so we'll stick with it for now.

I'm watching the Tenacious D movie right now. It's about as mentally challenging as I'm capable of dealing with right now, that is to say I can see this used to pacify three-year-olds and recovering trauma patients. I like their CDs, but their cinematic prowess does not match, I'm sad to say.

The future of this blog has come up as a concern for a few people. First let me say that I'm thrilled and hope more people express interest in my writings in the years to come. Secondly, this being a blog about my adventures in Falmouth, it's not really appropriate for me to keep it going. I'm going to keep it up through graduation in November, and then I'll transfer to an all-new blog. Or maybe change the name of this one, I need to figure out what this set-up can do.

Blog Home AGAAAIN In Indiana!

2007-09-11T15:16:00.000Z

I'll make this short, as my mind's still kind of wonky. I have arrived back home! I'm happy. Later!

Quick Blogdate!

2007-08-30T20:34:00.000Z

My MA project is printed, bound, and ready to hand in.

Two boxes are sent away, both are all books at a cheap rate. One more to send out, that'll be the monster but I hope it'll be worth it. What am I talking about, of course it will be.

The rest of the packing is going okay. I'm not too concerned about safety or weight as I don't fly for a week. I can worry about those very crucial factors when I pack for real.

Four beers are chilling in the fridge. By the time I go to bed, I expect that number to reach zero. By all that is good and pure, I've earned it.

I Am My Own Worst Blog

2007-08-23T22:45:00.000Z

One thing that unsettles me - I'm not sure that's the right word but it's the closest I can come up with this late at night - about my writing is how it's developed over the years. These days I'm pretty quick to start up a conversation with a new person, but I used to be a total social hermit. I wouldn't talk to anyone I didn't already know really well, which was no one outside my family really, and it was during this curious phase that I started writing stories. If I couldn't be friends with any people - and back then I believed I couldn't - I'd make them up. Not healthy, per se, but it allowed me to function.

I enjoyed writing because it gave me a sense of control that I didn't have in reality, and I like to think that as I got better at it, it gave me the confidence to be more social, and once I did I enjoyed more success. There was one point where I was in a pretty heated "discussion" with a couple of friends, and I told them something I hadn't thought of before then, and it's something that to this day I wish wasn't true. I told them my writing was a better friend to me than most people I'd known.

Since then, hell just this past year, I think I've developed very good friendships with people, but it hurts a little knowing that I meant those words at one point .

Today marks the day where writing, my once best friend, has betrayed me. I put the 133rd page of the graphic novel into my script today, breaking the 200-page mark. I think I need 20 more pages to finish it, but I've been saying that for over 30 pages. I will need to blitz this project if I want to have a first draft done by the end of the weekend, leaving me less than a week to edit it, format, print, and bind it for submission, edit my critical rational for submission, buy my plane ticket home, and pack up everything for when I move out next Saturday. Duncan, my flatmate this past year, expects to have everything done, edits and all, by end of this coming Sunday. I do not want to die, I just find myself questioning my apparent obsession with living.

I am about to play a role playing game with some friends online, friendly alcohol at my side, in an attempt to relieve some of my stress. Hopefully it'll be enough to offset the fact that I'm staying up until 3 to do so.

Belated Blogaversary

2007-07-26T18:29:00.001Z

I just noticed my last post was my 50th! Not bad for a year. For me at least. Moving on...

I've gotten halfway through my script. Fifty pages of graphic novel could be drawn with what I've got, and I came to a reveal of the bad guy that I think works really well. I have to wait until Karen King (supervisor) gives her okay, but I'm hopeful. Maybe I should devote a bit of time to my critical essay. Maybe. It could happen.

It just feels nice to have this character out and about now. One thing I really got over the course of this year is how much I LOVE a good villain. Antagonists are essential to drama, but a good, meaty one can steal a show if you let 'em. Iago, Darth Vader, Roscoe P. Coltrain, the real classics have more staying power than the heroes sometimes. It's my hope that I can create one that'll last half a long as some of the great. Hopefully, this one's a step in the right direction.

Speaking of drama, I saw the pilot of Heroes for the first time last night. Now just where the hell have I been since this came out?!?!?!?! I am ashamed that I've let this slip so long, really just ashamed. It's refreshing to see popular television take conventions out of comics and apply them well, and ironic when you consider modern comics came out by taking conventions of noir cinema and other video and applying them to the page. Heroes makes no apologies about its roots, it does them justice, and with a name like that I can't ask for anything more.

My financial drama's come to a resolution - I got my security deposit back! I can afford rent and food now, and the occassional night out. The problem here is that most everyone I know is tied to their laptops most nights, myself included, so finding a night when a bunch of us can afford to meet and hang out is kind of a rarity. I don't want to have to go through the process of arranging a date and meeting around schedules and imposing an order and formality that just go against the spirit of spontaneous pubbing, so I'll be patient. Ugh.

People are making food. I hunger. I shall make food now.

Great Blogspectations

2007-07-21T15:57:00.000Z

Well, my search for a productive routine has come to... something. It's not routine in the strictest sense, but a pattern can be defined if one's not too picky. And I am making good progress on the project, so I'm gonna take it.

Next week I start pestering Heather and Lay with both barrels (student & foreigner) for them to give my security deposit back. With it I can eat out on occasion and maybe a club every now and then. Without it I pray that August is dry and that the sea gulls yield edible meat.

Tonight I'm going to be doing something potentially traumatic. Some people may remember that I was in Someone for Everyone, an independent film of some length. It was a fun thing to make, but it's pretty clear we weren't taking it seriously. Fewer people may remember that this movie has a lot of emotional baggage surrounding it. Between those two factors, it should come as no surprise that I will be administering copious amount of social lubricant to myself throughout the movie.

That is to say, I'll be drinking myself into some degree of stupor. Lord help me.

Grey Blogs're Gonna Clear Up!

2007-07-06T10:26:00.000Z

This entry's title in honor of the celestial fusion reactor that has appeared in the sky recently.

So I'm trying to develop a routine to writing. A routine that, say perhaps, one who writes professionally might adapt. And it's tricky. For one thing I haven't had an entire day to devote to writing what I want to write in forever, so I'm not used to that. I'm using that section of my brain more than it's built for right now, so it gets tired. And that leads to the next problem: have you heard of this thing called the internet? Man, is that thing fun! Distracting as hell but FUN! I've been at this for a whole week, so I guess I should be giving it a chance before I bad mouth it, but bad mouthing things is so much easier than actually doing something about it.

I am learning very quickly the mentality a pro writer might have in daily living, brought on by my recent, economically-inspired dietary habits. I'm going through my hard drive like a graverobber trying to find anything I can rework and sell. I'm working on one that has plenty of potential to not only be marketable but good, but looking at it now I have to wonder if I was in a safe mental place when I wrote it. I could explain, but if I don't I'll leave my readers twisting about what I mean, and quite frankly I need a schadenfreude-fix.

I'm going into Truro (closest thing to a city around here, and the Indianapolis people would laugh if they could see it) if my plans work out today so I may buy dice. I'm still trying to work out how I can do so as a business expense, I'll let you know if I succeed. Might as well shop around while I'm there, I've been cooped up in my house too long because of the weather.

Blogs on the Range

2007-07-02T09:11:00.000Z

Second post in two days. I better be careful, I'm in danger of starting a trend.

I am successfully moved into the new place. After seeing all my stuff in here, I can definitely say it's... different. Lots of shelf space where the old place had none, no mildew on the walls which is nice. Not as many drawers where I can shove stuff, but it's not like I have a library of smuggled documents to hide. I have to say I like having a lounge area, and it may be worth the much smaller kitchen compared to the last one (this kitchen has a gas range, too, so I'm cool with it). The bed is not broken and threatens to remain so throughout my stay, seeing as it's frame is made of metal* and not glorified particle board. Overall, I think I'm going to like it here.

To that end, I'm giving myself today off. I haven't stopped running since I got here and that was over a week ago. I woke up this morning and just knew that I was going to do nothing all day. It was an epiphany of sloth. Maybe - maybe - I'll go get food and booze, but no guarantees.

*EDIT: I originally misspelled this word "mettle", an odd yet appropriate little slip of vocabulary.

The Speed of Blog

2007-07-01T07:47:00.000Z

Just a quick note, my last one from my current residence. Over the next few hours I'll be borrowing a car and moving all my and Duncan's stuff to our new place just on the other side of town - a ten minute walk really.

Having moved several times over the years, both short distances and huge ones, I feel I'm qualified to say that moving is an awful process. You're forced to compartmentalize your entire life in boxes and bags and do everything in your power to erase all trace of the time you spent in your last place and just pray everything will fit somewhere in your next one. The transitory period is worst: you've packed most of your things, but have just enough out so you can function in this place that clearly isn't your own anymore. It's a state of undeath, only your motivation is a clean glass instead of delicious brains, and there's no way to moan "GLAAAAAASS" in a way that sounds cool. We've tried.

Three hours from now we meet our new landlady. Impressions over the phone and email have been mixed. Nothing remarkable either way, all we can do is hope for the best.

Wish us luck!

Blogwork Orange

2007-06-26T15:46:00.000Z

A strange title for a strange event: I'm updating this thing twice in a week. Watch for flying pigs.

Good day so far, and since it's not quite five in the afternoon here yet I'm probably jinxing myself into an evening of bad luck. But you know, I think I'll risk it.

I met with Christina and Helen today (course instructors) to talk about my MA. I've got loads to do between now and hand-in, but we're both confident I can do the work, which should mean the actual doing it should be a slice of cake!

....

KIDDING! It'll be monstrous work, but it'll be monstrous work with a high chance of passing and maybe distinction, so it'll be worth it. And if I can seek publication afterwards, hey, that's icing on said cake.

I officially passed all my modules from last term, so that's happy. I didn't think I wouldn't pass, mind you, but it's validation just to hear it, you know? My presentation passed with distinction, so I'm in quality shape going into my MA project. Every little bit helps, right?

Progress is continuing on the moving process. It's a hassle moving at all, either across the globe or just down the road, but most of the ambiguities are out of the way and now it's just actually going through with it all. A couple of breaks came through on the transition phase, and without saying to much I'm very grateful for them.

One of the things they tell us wannabe professional writers to do is build a routine. We should set our days so that we work for a few hours a day, correspond and do research a few hours a day, basically get us into a habit of acting like professional writers. All well and good except I haven't had a routine day since I've been back. It's all either working to move, working to sell things, working on screwing Delta out of miles, and other random crap. About all I can say that I've done toward acting like a professional writer is I'm not playing computer games or watching videos most of the time. I schedule it. If you schedule it, it's not goofing off.

Nothing else at the moment. I could add a thing or two, but it'd be speculation at this point.

Sky Wars: Return of the Blog

2007-06-21T13:02:00.000Z

I made it back to Falmouth with only major jetlag. Wait, what?

Yeah, I slept for 13 hours and I still feel like crap. I've got a lot to do today and I only have about an hour and change to do it so I can go to Duncan's birthday party. Jet lag itself isn't as bad as trying to get over jet lag. That's what kills you.

We're entering the very last week of living in our current house. I may be finalizing where I'll be living after that in a few days, which is good. What's bad is that just about everyone else has given up on keeping the common areas in order, meaning the kitchen. I'm going to say it's the lack of my American influence that has caused the mess because it makes me feel important here.

My trip from Gatwick to Falmouth was interesting in a couple of ways. First I was able to get an early train out of Gatwick. I pretty much went straight from Customs (a breeze, by the way) to the train station, hopped the next one going my way, twenty minutes tops. I was wondering if I forgot anything, it seemed too easy. I had to make a lot of train swtiches, but it wasn't so bad as I got into town two hours ahead of schedule - awesome! On one such train, I was next to a guy who claimed he invented the V chip in 1981 and sued someone in Texas for his cut. I was in awe, this is the kind of stuff I live for. I had to walk from the train to my house, which is more than half a mile up hill, but it had rained recently and it smelled like heaven from all the flowers in bloom, so I let it slide.

Okay, I need to go see exactly how poor I am and buy food, then put on body armor and choose a weapon so I can fight for my refrigerator space back. Later!

A Blog too Far

2007-05-30T17:40:00.000Z

It's been a pretty crazy week. Nothing major, just a lot of running around doing little things. I checked out a place that I might live in over the summer - not bad but I need some answers from the landlady who's being uncommunicative. I'm still hoping one person sends me a version of a profile before a site goes up (long story that I just don't care enough about to rehash). Trying to write a feature so I can earn a bit of scratch and have something to update on my resume. Oh, and I'm coming home tomorrow.

What, did I forget to mention that? Dopey me!!!! Yep, coming home for a MUCH needed break. I fly home on the 20th of June (I think) to finish up the MA, so I'm going to have to have a lot of fun while I'm back in Indy. I'm counting on everyone to help!! And for the record, I didn't mention it before now because I'm a mean little sneak that enjoys the shock of those close to him. Mwa ha ha.

Nowhere near as nervous about this trip home as I was last time. Last time I felt like I was going to expel a few vital organs, this time I'm quite mellow and just really looking forward to being back in a land that takes dollars.

See you soon.

Toil, Toil, Blog and Boil

2007-05-13T13:19:00.000Z

Term No. 2 is done. DONE! This means I can, dare I say it, rest for a while! We handed in our portfolios on Friday and proceeded to drink starting around 1 in the afternoon... most of us. I was doing fine until about 11 that night, and my Saturday was spent recovering.

I want to take a break from my laptop for a few days, seeing as how I haven't looked at much else in the past two weeks. I've been experiencing sharp pains when I nod my head suddenly, like my brain's a bit loose in the noggin. Anyway, once I'm done fiddling here, I'm going to shut it off and hope I can avoid turning it back on for a while. That'll be a welcome break I think.

Next Monday we have to present our MA proposals in an auditorium-style setting. Each has to be on stage being stared at by 10 judges and the rest our the class, so about 35 people. In a practice run Thursday (audience of 8 or so) I nearly choked I was so nervous, but when I could string a few words about my project together, the audience really liked them. If I can get around the public jitters I'll be in good shape.

I've gotten a confirmed no from the artist I was trying to secure for my project, while I'm on the subject. I'm looking around for a new artist now, and I've got a few people also searching who they know for leads. I will confess, I've been in this position before and have come up short about every time, so my hopes are not high.

Okay, that's all your getting out of me for now.

Hold me, blogs. Hold me tight.

2007-05-01T15:58:00.000Z

Not a whole lot has happened since my last post, so this will be a bit shorter. I'll give you a brief moment to cheer.

...

There we are. RIGHT! Classes: I have finished all the initial write-ups for the web site, and as soon as those last couple of approvals come in I can finally feel like this is done. It's been a very stressful period, and hopefully now we can start seeing some fruit from our labor. I will say, in contrast, that the people I interviewed were all very nice, and I hope I can stay in touch with at least one or two. Anyway, now I'm working on my portfolio for that unit and praying to any deity that'll listen that I can use my industry analysis as content for it. See, we need 4,000 words of content to submit, and if we're only looking at stuff written for the course or web site I'm a little over 2K. If I can't use the analysis which was also 2K, this weekend will be quite furious. Screenwriting continues to be fun; we're pitching radio dramas this week for practice as much as anything, and I got to work just the tiniest bit on the project that'll be my MA... and it felt good.

I went to the gym for the first time in over a week today. I'm weak. Or exhausted. Either way I want to lay down, which one lets me do that more? Someone get back to me on that.

With the end of term coming up I have to figure out when I can come home. Easy answer is May 12th, the day after we hand in, but noooo. We have to formally submit our MA proposals a week later, and what may be a week after that we talk with our MA supervisors on how we're actually gonna pull the damn things off. Keep in mind I have to have all my crap in another place by the end of June, so my window's getting pretty narrow. If I knew having a life was so tricky, I'd have stuck to playing video games all the time.

I really do need to get back to Indy, if only for a couple of weeks. I need a freaking break. I need my mommy to cook me food and pat my head and tell me what a good boy I am. I need to renew my driver's license (still can't believe that got by me). I need to start moving some of the stuff I collected over here back home - I really am living a semi-Spartan lifestyle but dammit the little things add up! And also I love books.

Speaking of Spartans, I did eventually see 300. I approve. It was heavily stylized, but I think that made it seem as much an event as a movie.

Eh, that's all for now.

By the Blog of Zues?!

2007-04-23T15:37:00.000Z

How is it it's been over a month since my last post? Cripes, why didn't anyone kick my ass over this, this is bad. BAD!

Okay, crap, what happened since March 20th? Well, my work experience in London. Titan Publishing was a great place to work, it was very casual and the people were great. I was doing a lot of filing, organizing, mostly office bitchery but I only had to make tea a couple of times. I did some cool things too, including screen captures for a compendium book to the TV series Supernatural, a fast-edit of the prequel novel to the upcoming Transformers movie, some press packet preparation (don't say it three times fast, it's Not POSSIBLE!), and a wee bit of copy writing for a couple of their magazines. I did get to take home just a few magazines and a couple of books too, so really I couldn't have asked for a better time...

OR COULD I????? Work was exception, the living situation less so. My first few days were at a bed & breakfast. A small closet was my room, a chest of drawers my en suite bathroom, and the breakfast was... you know, the less I think about what I ingested, the better I'll be, I'm positive. For about $100 a night, for some unfathomable reason, I expected more. I got out of there as fast as humanly possible. After posting around Gumtree for a couple of days I found a shared flat with an open room - covered the remainder of my time in London to the day for 80 pounds, a huge Huge HUUUUGE deal especially after what I was living with. Everyone else there were internationals as well: two Spaniards (no Inigo Montoyas, I checked), a Turk, and a Polish girl (walk into a bar... sorry, couldn't resist) and they were all lovely people. I ended up having a great time with them. The space itself wasn't bad; smaller than I'm used to, but so much better than the B&B.

Then I came back to Falmouth. I would've loved to come home, but I had so much work to do I'm still not done (hence the lack of posts). Top of the list was an industry analysis, kind of a report on any aspect of the writing industry. I chose a market report on graphic novels over the past six months pertaining to thrillers - figured it was directly related to my MA, might be interested. I got 2000 words and 20 pages of appendices out of it, and I was surprised a couple of times by my findings, so I'm better for it. I also had to update and upload my web site. The updating went fine, the uploading's hit a snag. As soon as it's online, I'll post the addy here, no one fret.

I had to write up a scene outline and a few scenes for Screenwriting class. The subject? Resnick. If you've heard me rant about this property already, you know my pain. If you haven't, I've implied it enough. The review of it went pretty well. Teacher (who worked on the actually-aired Resnick series) was interested in the story and said I might be able to use it outside the property well, and it also showed I tend to write in static images. Shows I spend too much of my time thinking in terms of comic panels, need to loosen up a bit.

The thing I've been working on more or less since I got back to Falmouth is this web site we need to make for Business Writing. We've designed the concept, mission brief, and now we're conducting interviews in order to host profiles of regional artists (or creatives, as we're putting it here to allow more than visual art). I've just today secured two more interviews, and if I can get this last guy in then I'm solid. I don't know how much I can comfortably say on this blog, but I will state that I will be SOOOOOOOOOOO happy when I'm done with it. Can't be happier, in theory.

Last weekend a bunch of us went out of a kind of new place where some of the coursemates were in a Samba drumming gig. They've got a lot of great, bassy rhythm and in general I think everybody had fun. There could have been better alcohol facilities on premises, but hopefull they'll address that in the future.

I am also, because apparently I hate myself that much, writing a short story to enter in a contest that RANE is sponsoring. Short version: submit art that addresses climate change. If you've seen Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth you get the idea. Focusing solely on climate change, I wasn't very inspired, but add in acid rain, Chernobyl's unique wildlife situation, and I got me a trip to the zoo H.P. Lovecraft would get giddy over. Even if it doesn't win, I'd like to try shopping it around. Hopefully after the term is over, I can focus a bit on selling some of the stuff I've made in my time here.

Speaking of, the term has three weeks left in it. I am so doomed.

BLOG IS SPARTA!!!!!!!

2007-03-20T10:11:00.000Z

I haven't seen 300 yet, but I really want to, even if it's supposed to be a CGI sausage-fest.

This begins Day 2 of my work experience at Titan and I have to say I'm doing well. The work so far is classic Office Bitch stuff, but the environment is casual and friendly, unlimited tea, coffee, and water, the people are nice, and in my raare downtime I can read anything on the shelves; there's a lot on the shelves.

The room I wound up with at the B&B is not going to work. Breakfasts are either bland or disgusting, depending on whether you go for cereal or continental, the room is essentially a small walk-in closet that's been partially sectioned to include a bathroom, and the free internet only goes as far as the lobby. I might be able to put up with this for two weeks, but at 50 a night I chose not to. Gumtree.co.uk is a recent discovery for me, and led me to a place in Kilburn - the room itself is only a tiny bit bigger but with a desk, seperate bathroom that's much more accomodating to non-midgets, and a kitchen - that'll cost me 80 from when I move in Thursday through the rest of my time here. Sometimes, when you do the work, things happen that are good. Who knew?

Well, I'm off to the loo and then to some free reading!!!

Great Blogs! It's been a while

2007-03-18T09:09:00.000Z

Just a quick note telling everyone I'm leaving in a couple of hours for London. I'm doing my work experience with Titan Publishing for a couple of weeks, then coming back to Falmouth to get a lot of course work done. I'd like to come home but that just didn't work out. School starts back up April 16th, so hopefully between now and then I'll think to put a real post up here.

Before I leave, though, I want to give a shout-out to Rory and Kate for coming out this passed week. It was wonderful seeing you and amazing seeing some of the sites you picked out. I had a lot of fun and hope you do come back some time, preferably when I don't have as much to do!

Stay safe, everyone, and I'll try to do the same.

I'm running low on blog jokes

2007-02-26T00:10:00.000Z

Might have something to do with me typing this in bed. For those who don't know, i've discovered how to get my laptop to my bed plugged in without shifting the plug from it's normal position. It's dangerous, as I now have very little reason to ever leave my bed. I do enjoy occassional sloth, but this may prove too much.

I am feeling much better by the way. Dry throat, that's all. This week I'll probably be joining the school gym, and I'm telling you all this so I'll feel pressured into actually doing it. I haven't gained much weight or inches over here, but especially with that illness my energy level's taken a nose dive. My recent relapse into RPG addiction hasn't helped either (Final Fantasy? You listening? Fuck. You.) so I need, that is NEED, to get me out of my room. It's bad, I'm sure.

Classes are going pretty well. Screenwriting's going a bit slow, I'm not worried but some are. Business writing's starting to pick up now that we have a clearer idea what we're doing. On Thursday we had guest speaker Kingley Marshall telling us about the glories of being a professional article writer. The highlights were 1) features suck (the people taking the Features module loooved that point), 2) reviews offer a better money-to-effort ratio, 3) whatever you do you have to be fast with contacts, turnaround time, and the more bits about every single venue you deal with you can remember, the better. Leaving, we were all in a bit of a panic.

Friday was a different guest speaker that put us on the path of the righteous again. Tim Pears took us through a series of exercises that reminded us we could be creative off the cuff, let us work together on something fun, and just kept heaving praise on us. Lovely time, even the bits that sent us into depression (just how many reasons can one girl have for killing herself???).

This weekend I've been cleaning a lot. Clothes, room, bathroom, I feel sanitized. Talked with the rents and Evo which was wicked cool. Wrote my review for the follow with with Kingsley this week which I want to make us feel hopeful but who knows. And filled the rest of my time with Final Fantasy like a sloth - while you're playing, you feel like you get so much accomplished, but the instant you take a break you realize you've been doing absolutely nothing - it's a disease.

Let Blogs be Blogs.

2007-02-13T12:28:00.000Z

First and most important: I want to thank everyone that helped make this birthday one of the most memorable of all time. My entire family (even Matt, who contributed by forgetting), my friends on the course who made sure if I had any dignity on the bus it wasn't there by the time I left. (special thanks to Frea for getting us all cold and wet and Christina for being so caring) Everyone I worked with at Butler either signed a card or sent one of their own, and in a few cases both ("I'll never te-ell..."), and that was just a wonderful surprise, thank you! Grandma and Grandpa sent me a card with some birthday money I'll need to go home to spend, which I think was their plan those clever devils, and last years horoscope which (I'm too lazy to go and read it again) predicted a trip that would change my life - even a broken clock is right twice a day! - thank you. Also to Bethany, Kate, and Betsy (in no order whatsoever), thank you for wishing me a happy birthday. Kate, I'm afraid I don't have either your or Jess's email addys; use the one on my bio sheet on the Pengin web site for now.

Moving on, I'm sick. Disgustingly sick, but only in that I feel disgusting. It's the latest things that's going around that I hope they're exaggerating when they say it lasts five days. My superior American immune system was holding up pretty well so far, but I did have an active weekend and I suppose that's what did it.

The day before my birthday our whole course went to see a play one of our instructors wrote: Gilgamesh. An amount of alcohol was available on the way there, and it affect a small number of people more than others. After the play more libations were had, and this led to an interesting ride home: lots of signing, no dancing, an attempted speech or three, and at midnight everyone got it into their heads to sing happy birthday to me. Judy 2 ran off before it was exposed that it was her birthday Feb 7th and she hadn't told anyone - except me only half an hour before. I got yelled at. Then I was hugged so it was okay.

Over the weekend we tried to go bowling but the lanes were all booked, so we went drinking instead. We got to see a whole new side of Ben that I could learn a thing or three from. It was odd, that night, but it was a lot of fun. All that matters.

I'm going to read something now. Stay healthy! Diseases suck!

Let's blog this thang!

2007-02-06T21:09:00.000Z

I've got a lot of things I need to cover but first things first: LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR THE INDY COLTS Y'ALL!!!!!!! Peyton's back is free of monkeys and everyone's sporting phat new bling! Indianapolis doesn't get many chances for national attention aside from what it hosts, so this is a huge thing for us I think to win something as widely recognized as the Super Bowl. And if you watched the game, you know we really deserved it. I thought it was a great game, the Bears played well, we just played better.

Next up, tomorrow's my first day of second-term classes. I think this is going to be an okay term, if downtime somehow crops up I've got projects to fill it, and if I don't I feel like it'll be effort well spent. Now that I've typed these words, here's hoping I don't eat them.

Next, and this is something that regularly makes me uncomfortable: it's my birthday this Thursday. I should take that back, my birthday doesn't make me uncomfortable. I like birthdays, it's a reminder that you're alive and whatever's happened, you got through it for another revolution of the Earth around the Sun. What makes me uncomfortable is being the center of attention - it's something I don't know that I'll ever get used to. I've already gotten a few cards and they're lovely (I'll be sending thank you's soon, I promise). Word has gotten to me that a number of my coursemates are upset that I haven't already made plans to do anything, and while I will arrange for something to happen, it's hard for me is all. I suppose I should get over it - they say the first thing you have to sell is yourself - but I don't want to. Whaa whaa whaaa, gripe bitch moan.

For our screenwriting class we have to read one of the Resnick novels. For those who don't know, Resnick novels are a line of police procedural fiction mysteries. If you like thrillers and have recently undergone major heart surgery, I think these are ideal for you, but everyone else will likely be bored.

What else...? I'm still working on getting a work study for the March break. I've got one new lead I absolutely must follow up on, but Friday's looking to be the closest I can address it. Bugger.

I've also noticed that my vocabulary is incorporating more and more British words, enough to make my parents chuckle. My parents, the British wannabes (oh accept it you two). Just didn't want that to get by.

Also, my coursemate Sarah got proposed to by her boyfriend. In a positive-yet-not-as-interesting twist, she said yes. I think I may hide my birthday party behind that so as not to feel as uncomfortable.

I think that's all I've got for now. Everyone back in Indy, stay warm and GO COLTS!

Bad case of the Blogs

2007-01-30T14:04:00.000Z

Today started with a drill going into the concrete directly outside my room. Even now I can hear a hammer and chisel. It set me off my groove and I really need to recenter myself. I suppose a blog post is as good a method as any.

The first term of the year is over. Portfolios are in, my MA proposal is in, all is as good as it can be on that front. I think I did okay - nothing flashy, but solid work all around. No regrets there.

This is the second week of my break before second term starts next week. I've been trying to find a place to work over the March-April break for work study and find an artist to collaborate with on my MA project (a graphic novel), both with only partial success. Better than nothing, but it's not helping my mood today.

Over the weekend I formatted my laptop so I could clean it up and start fresh. I forgot to back up one folder and nearly lost Final Draft, both potentially cardiac-arrest-inducing, but I got around those problems and now my computer's back at full strength and faster than ever.

Last Thursday I attended a Robert Burns supper, which if you ever get invited by a real Scotsman I can't recommend enough. It involved genuine haggis, a dram of whiskey, a live bagpiper, multiple speeches written by people on our course, and about five hours of signing songs and swapping stories, and it all added up to one of the most memerable, amazing nights ever. A few people decided to go commando while wearing kilts, but by then everyone was just buzzed enough to not care. Grandma, I wore pants, relax.

The Colts are going to the Super Bowl!! It figures that they decide to conquer their playoff demons just when I'm out of the country. I'm trying to find a place to have a small party, and the results may be contributing to my stress level, but dammit this is important! This needs to be celebrated! I know I'm not going to enjoy staying awake and fairly sober until 4am but this is worth it! So that my neighbors here can enjoy it, I've agreed to write a primer on football rules and procedures; nothing extreme just basic stuff like "this is what a Down is", and "a ball is fumbled when this, this, and this happens". Go Colts!

One of the walls in my room is now covered with cards for my MA story, which is actually a concept I've been working on for a couple of years and now have the chance to really flesh out. I'm either going to start scripting today or tomorrow, but I have a few character things to work out before I'm ready to jump in.

Huhn, no wonder I'm feeling stressed. Turns out I've got a lot going on. I probably should have been paying attention.

Oh god, someone gave him another drill. Who in their right mind would give him another drill?!?!?! This may be a job for a pub.

Now blogging for the Indians...

2007-01-29T18:12:00.000Z

I know I've been stingy with the blog posts recently, but I've been pretty busy. Wait, that's not true. I've been out of mind psycho crazy with work. It's disgusting, but things are looking like they're going to pay off. I'll go into more detail in the next few days, when I have some energy, but things are okay.

Cry Havoc! and let slip the Blogs of War!

2007-01-23T15:58:00.000Z

To the wonderful ladies of Butler's Registration & Records department:

Marsha's a dirty Bears fan. Get her.

GO COLTS!!!!!!!!!

A Blog from the Past

2007-01-14T12:50:00.000Z

I was going through some of my old documents and found this internet/ email classic. I made it a project of mine a few years back to clean it up, get the count and grammar right, etc., and seeing as how so many people who read this are of the writing persuasion, I thought it could be of mass benefit to post this little gem. Enjoy!

How to Be an Evil Overlord

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present:

The Top 109 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I'll say, “No,” and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say “No.”

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks’ time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled “Danger: Do Not Push'”. The big red button marked “Do Not Push” will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence “But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know…”

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it’s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way, even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/ or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless, my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line “No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!” (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he’s my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say “And here is the price for failure,” then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an advisor says to me “My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?”, I will reply “This,” and kill the advisor.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh Powerbooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says “I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!”, I will say “Oh well” and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask “Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?”, I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant’s loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case they fail.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk ``Project Overlord'' and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror “…and he must be taken alive!” The command will be “And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical.”

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. “Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse.” Instead it will be more along the lines of “Push the button.”

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up-to-code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I capture the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it’s an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unraveled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others’ lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size, to avoid copying onto a simple disk.

100. To keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

101. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, “Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?” My reply will be, “No, just sensible.”

102. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.

103. I will not waste time making my enemy’s death look like an accident – I’m not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn’t believe it.

104. I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word “mercy”, I simply choose not show them any.

105. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes.

106. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he’s caused.

107. If my supreme command center comes under attack, I will immediately flee to safety in my prepared escape pod and direct the defenses from there. I will not wait until the troops break into my inner sanctum to attempt this.

108. Even though I don’t really care because I plan on living forever, I will hire engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy enough that, if I am slain, it won’t tumble to the ground for no good structural reason.

109. Any and all magic and/ or technology that can miraculously resurrect a secondary character who has given up his/her life through self-sacrifice will be outlawed and destroyed.

Blogging Idiots

2007-01-14T11:48:00.000Z

Y’know those angry rants that litter online journals? This is one of them.

I’m not a big sports fan, but I love rooting for the home team, especially when the home team is the Indianapolis Colts going to the Division playoff. I get a tip from a friend on the Brian Michael Bendis message board that I can go to a bar that has Sky, get them to turn it to the US Sport channel, and watch it live: I’m ecstatic! When I go to the nearest pub and no one else is watching anything, and when I actually have someone to watch it with, I’m genuinely happy. When they’re selling bottles of Grolsch for only two pounds, I know I’ve done something right in this world. And then it’s ruined.

I talk in pubs. How dare I. When I talk, you’d pretty much have to be deaf to not notice I’m American. There was a group of rugby players at the pub at the same time, and they were not deaf. They were drunk, though, and were very interested in me coming over and chatting with them. Me wanting to meet new people and all that I agree, and at first things are fine. They want to know bits of trivia about the States, hear me say things differently than they say them, and so long as I can watch the game I’m okay with this because I get as much as I give.

They keep drinking, and in doing so they go from being rough-around-the-edges rugby players to college-drop-out sports twats. The “Say What We Say the Way You Say It” game went WAAAAY too long to start. One guy starts giving Duncan a back rub which doesn’t work on any level, and that wasn’t cool (or comprehensible). Same dude spills beer over my shoes, which I still control myself over because it wasn’t my beer. But it keeps going. They get racist, they get sexist, they get more violent first with each other and then with us. At one point I stood up and the only reason a fight didn’t break out was that they thought I didn’t know what standing up to drunk, dumb rugby players means. (By the way, it means you’re ready to fight, and I knew exactly what it meant when I stood up.) As we were leaving one of them wanted to shake my hand, to say they were just having a bit of fun. I refused.

It really killed me to leave. One, I had as much right to be there as they did. Two, I was a more polite patron than they were (when the American’s the nice, quiet one, you know something’s up), but the barkeep didn’t give a crap. Three, and this is what really burns me, is that it was the end of the third quarter when we left. I didn’t even get to see the end of the game. We went home and I pulled up the scoreboard on ESPN, Colts win 15-6. I would have really liked to see that last quarter.

Epilogue: Inbreeding hurts the emotional growth of the participants, the family, society, and the gene pool as a whole. Letting such doomed offspring play sports and have free reign of pubs is like putting a pretty little patch over a hole in a haz-mat suit: it doesn’t do anything.

Fellowship of the Blog

2007-01-07T13:30:00.000Z

I know I said I’d update yesterday and I didn’t. What can I say, I’m a terrible liar.

One of the things that I did over break was destroy my daily energy level. In Falmouth I would walk at least a mile a day, and that sets a physical standard that, quite frankly, America can’t live up to. Between not walking and having 5-star food three times a day, if I put on actual clothes it was an active day. Now that I’m back in Falmouth, I find I’m sleeping WAY later than I’m used to and having to real focus if I want to get myself to do anything. I’m hoping that if I keep pushing myself I can get my energy back to its previous level soon; failing that, I hope I go into some kind of coma so I don’t have to worry about it.

Christmas wasn’t just about great food and sloth, either. I was able to catch up with all the friends I left behind, visited with relatives, and I even got some work done. Not all 30,000 words I wanted to have done by now – good LORD nowhere close – but I have enough to get me through the week I believe, and a strong start towards the rest of it. I even have a kickass rationalization for not doing the whopper 12,000 project, but I’ll keep that to myself for now. Don’t want anyone stealing it.

I also went up to Chicago while I was back in the States, and did a lot of things. I visited my bro and got to meet some of his pals/ fellow students, I got to see what his school’s woodshop is like (think what Norm Abrahms wet dream would be like and you’re halfway there), but mostly I went up there to get my visa. I shall not revisit the trials and traumas that make up my previous attempts at getting a UK visa, nor the consequences of those past failures. Let it simply be known that I have it now, that I am in the UK with complete consent of the ruling government, and leave it at that.

Ehhh, who am I kidding?

I was able to get a few bottles of Cornish delight back to the States undamaged. The Mead would have been better off broken, I guess the people here like their mead tasting of cough syrup, but the beer was wonderful. I got it to give to my grandpa, a connoisseur of sorts, and even grandma liked what she sampled.

Right, now to the central focus of all Christmas-Break essays ever: new material possessions!! This year I was kind of trick to shop for since I can only take back so much. I got a few new books, one of which I’ve already read (and I borrowed a couple more for the plane ride, both of which are now read), a slew of gift certificates ($100 in iTunes money, baby!!) a couple of thermoses (thermi? Thermes? What’s the etiquette here?), a pile of neat food to eat before I left (which I did), new clothes, Spartan on DVD (I like David Mamett, but this seemed a bit dryer than normal. Still good.), and a bunch of other things I’m forgetting. My aunt and uncle gave me my birthday present early: a bottle of brandy and a flask. I discovered on arriving in Falmouth that I’m not a brandy fan, but I do enjoy a good flask. I used one of my gift certificates to pick up Sid Meier’s Pirates! for the PC, purely an impulse buy, but I think it was a big mistake. It’s the main reason I stay up until 2 in the morning these days.

I learned a meaning of the phrase “You can never go home again”. When I got home, it was like getting wrapped in a flannel blanket that’s been near the fire when you just got in from the cold. I was comfortable, I was tired but it didn’t matter because I didn’t have to do anything, everything about it was just nice. Absolutely everything. I really didn’t want to leave, but knew I had to, because as challenging and only rarely frustrating as grad school’s been, it’s been making me a better writer, maybe a better person, and I couldn’t let that process stop. So I left, knowing I can’t go back there and stay without hurting myself a lot. Visits don’t count, though. Visits fucking rule! That’s going to be a recurring thing, I can tell.

The traveling into the UK was pretty smooth, just really really long. I took an Ambien for the flight over the pond, didn’t sleep all the way through but enough to make a difference. Customs took fifteen minutes, I was so thrilled I forgot to flip them off on my way out for last time. It took some doing getting from Gatwick to Paddington, but not a whole lot. Lugging my luggage everywhere when no trolleys were available was a pain, but not so much as when I thought I’d have to lug them from the train station up the hill to my house. Ian called halfway there and told me to wait for him, which I agreed to only to be polite (to him or to my aching muscles???). We were all that had returned at first, then Joanna came back the next day. I’m pretty sure they’re together at this point, we’ve been waiting long enough for them to get over themselves, but being in a house alone with a new couple just ain’t comfortable, I don’t think there’re any circumstances to make that otherwise. Katriona came back last night, so there’s one more buffer at least. Dan’s due sometime today and Duncan tomorrow.

I’m sure I’m forgetting something, actually a lot of things, but I’ve hit my max for this post I think. Please, PLEASE, let me know if I’ve forgotten something. Post it as a reply, even. And Happy New Year!

Return of the Blog

2007-01-05T20:58:00.000Z

With my return to Falmouth, I thought something with "return" in the title would be appropriate.

I'm a bit torn. I really want to give a thourough update on what the past few weeks have been for me, I want to avoid boring the people that already know all that, and I want to get over jet lag.

I'm going to cop out here and try to take on that jet lag problem. Tomorrow, an update that's more updatish.

Crazy fun happy blog!

2006-12-20T16:01:00.000Z

I am in America. Back home. There were times I doubted.

The travelling was long but uneventful. Delta has no clue what they're doing, US customs LOVE returning Americans, and when Air India wants to they can do a decent enough flight. I took the sleeper train from Truro to London, and while I didn't get much in the way of sleep (almost none, really), I did get to stretch out AND when we got off at Paddington we got free use of the First-Class lounge for breakfast. THAT is worth the price of admission itself.

I just got back from Chicago late last night - I was visiting my baby bro and getting my visa. You may recall I had... complications... the last times I tried to get it. This time I got it. And you better fucking believe I am going to get everything I have coming to me as a result. I also had Giordano's pizza while up there, and to be honest no trip to Chicago is complete without a trip to Giordano's (but the service was lousy this time around).

I'm trying to be good and get work done, the problem is there's so much here I'd rather do. This being the longest I've been away from home, my parents want to do nothing but lavish attention and awesome food on me, and I want to let them. It should be calmer now that Evan's home too, but that doesn't make schoolwork any less schoolwork. I'm sure I'm not alone in this.

See ya when I see ya!

Should blog acquaintence be forgot...

2006-12-09T21:25:00.000Z

The answer, of course, is no.

This will be my last post from Falmouth for about a month. Tomorrow I hop a train to London and from there home. I've been very vocal on how much I don't want to travel despite my desire to go home for the holidays; I'mhoping by putting it out there it won't bottle up inside me only to explode when the US Customs officer asks if I have anything to declare.

As last weekends go, this one's been one of the best. Thursday was our last course day before Christmas, so we all got together at 5 Degrees West to have a huge feasty party - major thanks once again to the illustrious Jenny for putting that all in place. Wine flowed like water and, well, just look for yourselves.

This is just a bit of what he did, but it's all Blogger will let me post for now - I hope you get the idea.

It started at 5 Degrees, dallied for just a few moments at Toast, and reached a very loud and oddly-colored climax at Club International. Now even though I was drunk by this point I was still ashamed to be going in there, not so much that I WAS international and it seemed tacky to be going in there, but more because they still charged me even though I proved I was international! What a fucking joke! Yeah, bottles and glasses were broken, someone nearly lost a phone making sure another guy didn't break his foot again and some other stuff, but who cares about that? I can't remember if Fi went with us to CI but if she did I can only hope she shares my righteous indignation on this point.

For a while I thought a large contingent of our course was coming back to my place afterwards, which as I was drunk sounded fine but looking back I don'tknow that we couldv'e held that many, but somewhere inbetween leaving CI and eating kebabs that idea fizzled. Maybe it was for the best - I couldn't tell as I was unconscious as soon as I hit the bed.

As you might imagine, Friday was not an active day. I did go out to take care of some bank crap and found a bunch of them coming out of the Q Bar for lunch. We chatted, said our good-byes, established that last night was entertaining and scandal-free for all, and carried on.

Today's been me cleaning up, getting ready for tomorrow. I'm actually waiting right now on a text that will tell me where Ian and his birthday party are going for drinks. I'd be a bit lonely but the Transformers soundtrack is actually providing decent companionship right now.

See you in Indy!

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your blogs

2006-12-04T13:57:00.000Z

I am tired and wet right now, and reading that back it could be interpretted a number of ways. Allow me to clarify.

I had a lot to do this morning. I had to go to the international office and get a new letter to get my visa with, I had to go to the finance office and body slam every person I saw out of sheer frustration, and I had to mail a bunch of stuff. It chose to rain today. The international office was empty when I went by, and I had to restrain myself to filling out forms at the finance office. The good news is I mailed off my stuff and picked up a few last gifts before I came home. By the time I got in, my jeans below the knee were pretty much drenched, and my umbrella had been in about half a dozen configurations it was clearly not designed for thanks to the wind. That prettymuch catches you up for today.

This is the last week of classes before we break for Christmas, and it's going to be a doozy. Tomorrow we have our tutoring sessions with Derrek (aka The Canadian Lord of the Sith), five minutes after that I have my subbing session which involves... stuff I'm not too clear on, and thirty seconds after that is my last beginners' class for building web pages. Wednesday's the big editing test we weren't exactly taught for - that'll should be, oh jeez what's that word I'm looking for that means the exact opposite of what I actually think... oh yeah, fun. Thursday's our big lecture day, and after that's done the whole course is getting stuffed down at 5 Degrees South by North by East West (if you're not in the course, you won't get that joke, sorry!). One weekend later, I come home. I can't wait to be back in Indy, I'm just really not looking forward to the journey. There's something philosophical about that last sentence, I'm sure, but I can't think of what it could be.

This weekend I entered into a little arrangement with a certain party. We shall call him my housemate Dan, for that is his name. I agree to help him with editing his dissertation, he agrees to take some shots of me to go up on the web that look better than what I have now. If you looked to the right at the top of this page, you'll see one such outcome of this little escapade of mine. Here are a couple more (click on the boxes to bring them up):

They please me. Last night we went out to a new pub (to me anyway) called Seaview Inn, where we drank a couple of pints and played darts. That too pleased me.

As I mentioned before, I am weary. One last thought: if you don't already, please read my latest entry in my reading blog, the link in on the right and up a bit, you'll find it. It goes into more detail about my deal with the forms today and I somehow made a lot more of it than I thought I would. In a good way. I hope.

The Skeleton Blog

2006-11-26T16:06:00.000Z

The internet is finally in my house. Glorious glorious bits and bytes!!

As the Thanksgiving season closes I'd like to say what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my health, being able to study in England, the friends and family that have helped me pull this little stunt off, and Skype for letting me talk to a bunch of them the past few days.

I'm going to do a bit of blog commentary here due in large part to my grandmother. I was talking to the whole clan Thanksgiving afternoon and Grandma was telling me how much she liked reading this blog. She also chimed in with her opinion about my episode with nitrous oxide (haven't touched it since, get your hands away from the phone, don't call NO2 Anonymous) and I thought to myself, maybe I shouldn't be as comprehensive in my blogging. Not just for this, mind you, it turns out I'll need to give the address of this to my department head for examination, and it might not hurt for me to clean it up a bit.

I was already picking parts of my life to cut out of the text when my grandma had to open her mouth again. She told me she was getting to know me better via the blog than all the years we've been around each other. Let me digress by confessing I do have one qualm with blogs, and that's making sure you don't write anything about your friends they don't already know. Example: if you hang out one night and eat chips (read: french fries) with a homemade dip and tell the host it's great, you do NOT write about how much you hated it on your blog. It is all too easy to become someone else when you're online, and the instant your online self messes with your IRL (In Real Life) self you're in big trouble. So here I was, I could either reevaluate my blogging to make it a bit more family/ professional friendly, or I can keep it up and stay close with the friends and family back home. The ones that don't comment on my blog. The very same. You know who you are.

I'm gonna keep posting the way I post. It may be weird getting to know a relative through online reading, but the point is we get to know each other, method be damned. As for the evaluation, blogging's way too young a medium to grade, so I challenge them to tell me I'm doing mine wrong.

Now back to the important things, like WHERE'S MY TURKEY?????????????

Admiral, there be blogs here!

2006-11-20T13:11:00.000Z

I haven't written lately. I apologize, but in my defence this has been a really busy week.

If you visit bloc-online, you'll see what I've been up to this past week. This is the production website of the Professional Writing course, where everyone submits pieces based on a given theme OR about the craft of writing. Myself, James, and Stephen from my course had to update just about everything on the site this week, 95% of which done on Friday. We were exhausted and hungry afterwards, and after a footlong and a beer each (give or take), we were just about passed out. We were lucky to make it back to our respective homes; if we'd all went to one, people might talk. Still, I think it looks pretty good, and aside from the bit error and odd mistake we're getting kudos all around. Not bad at all.

The same day I had to yell at HSBC again. They sent me a letter saying they got my standing order and would send my landlord the money for last month as well as this month and be sure to give them an extra £3000 as a Christmas bonus next month, all without me needing to do a thing. "Aw, gee, let me thin-NO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Once I explained the situation they were all apologies and politeness and all of that, so I appreciate that they're at least willing to admit and address the problem, but exactly at what point will I feel my money's in safe hands? Anyone? You, in the back? No? Dang.

Saturday was my night to do the house cookoff. I went for my personal strength and made an italian meal: spaghetti, sause, meatballs, salad, garlic-bread, wine, all in no particular order and huge quantities. I did music, low lighting, the whole works. I overstretched myself a bit toward the end so things didn't come together as smoothly as it might, but everyone liked the meal, so I did good.

This week's going okay so far. Singled out a bit in class, but nothing bad, just me doing a focus no one else is even really well versed in. Stupid me and my stupid unique dreams. First assignment this week is 'Do the same thing only with this week's lecture in mind'; simple enough. I should be booking my flight back the UK from Christmas vacation, but I really don't want to. I should be afraid that once I get home I won't want to leave again, espeically after the time I had getting to the UK before. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow.

A neat little scrapblog

2006-11-11T11:59:00.000Z

Okay, pictures pictures pictures. Yesterday I put up a quick pic of me as Neo (or a drug dealer if you ask Duncan).

Here’s Joanna and Katriona dressed for under-the-sea success (jellyfish and mussel respectively)

Here you’ll see Jenny brandishing her guns

One of our hosts last Saturday, Andy, doing… I really don’t know

Duncan and Liam sharing a drink under hats

Another of our hosts, Elfrea, chatting with Jenny

Do I look pretty?

Another host. This is either Pete or Tink

That ain’t for whipped crème

I’m not sure I want to know what Liam’s dreaming here

Once again I am delegated the task of footrest

We were all a bit like this towards the end

Joe trying to look daper

Liam fell asleep, I am resigned to my fate

There’s no way you’d believe me

I would have had pics from my first true Guy Fawkes celebration, but I had the misfortune of missing every one I went to by mere minutes. Maybe the powers above think I’m not safe around bonfires.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. One of my student loan checks finally came through, so now I’m not scraping by on my savings anymore! I finally got me and DHL on the same page: I’ll have to pay them the £200 for now, but I can get that back directly from Customs for mistaking my laptop for saleable goods. I finished two pieces of writing and bought a new set of local ales. Not much otherwise, but I’m happy!

I'm a little blog tease

2006-11-10T14:35:00.000Z

But no more. Let's see if I heard right and Blogger will auto-resize pics.

What you should see about is a pic of me as The One, the only, Neo fromthe Matrix (the FIRST one, not that 2 or 3 bullcrap).

We've got a ticket to BLOG!

2006-11-06T13:57:00.000Z

I'm a bit behind on my blogging. The excuse I gave to my folks on Friday was that I was going to gather material over the weekend and make a real entry, not just filler. Holy crap, did THAT ever succeed?!?!

Friday was pretty tame. Called the parents, got a new battery for my phone, got Wuthering Heights audiobook from the library so I don't have to try and read the whole thing in a day, good things. Found out HSBC screwed up my standing order and I'd have to pay my rent in person and the internet guy found a new reason not to put internet in our house, bad things.

Saturday I finished the rough drafts of my two pieces for this week with plans to go to a Guy Fawkes (or Bonfire Night) celebration, which is cancelled so we can all go to the bigger one the next night. We still are due to get together that night for beer and fun, so I'm cool. Having found no good excuse to put it on, I go out in my Neo costume which turned out to be a great idea. Not only was I looking very badass, but I also had on two-three layers of clothes to guard agains the 40-ish temps. Go me! We have two beers, I have a steak-and-ale pie, then we all go back to Frea's house. Hoo boy.

After stopping at ASDA (England's Walmart) for booze and snacks we go to Frea's which is this nigh-palatial house tucked really deep into the woods. Tons of space, big yard, the works. While we drink and get to know her boyfriend Andy and son Oscar (who is a mini-Freya in almost every way, it's cool) someone fires up "Singstar". This is a game for the PS2 that comes with two mikes and is essentially kareoke with a point system. You know, I'd always wondered if my aversion to kareoke came from fear of being a bad singer or fear of being infront of people. That night I learned, for sure, it was the former. People over hear seem to love my American accent, but the machines obviously don't. Along with copious amounts of alcohol are passed around balloons filled with NO2. You're reading that right: Laughing Gas. I won't go into the more amusing stories of what happened, I'll just post pictures later. Sweet, beautiful pictures. We slept over there that night and hilarity ensued.

I woke up the next morning very lethargic and remembering this wacked-out dream where a cute Norwegian girl from the International Group texted me wanting to hang out sometime. When I finally found my phone I discovered that part actually happened. Then I found my camera and discovered some other things actually happened. Gotta take the good with the bad, I guess.

Once everyone was up and semi-coherent we spent the morning playing Texas Hold 'Em and waiting for the cab. I know card games pretty well, and Texas Hold'Em's a simple one once you get it, but knowing card games and being good at them are two different beasts. Did I mention we all put a fiver in on the game? Yeah, might've been important to mention that. When we finally got back home Duncan was kind enough to lend me a couple of movies to veg out to while he tried to achieve a coma state. We went out that night to see the fireworks and saw a few little ones, but by the time we got to the bigshow it had already ended. What. The. Fuck. We could walk through the smoke of the fireworks like it was a thick fog and they're done in seven minutes? And I didn't see a single effegy light up! I'm left unsatisfied. On that note, we went back to Freya's that night for more poker and nitrous oxide, and let's just say the best part for me was the NO2. Well, I did call one bluff and won one big hand, but that was it.

I've been pretty productive this morning. Got my rent paid, will be going to town later for food and to make one last stab at getting the standing order in. I got my phone topped off and picked up a pack of Munchies. I need to proofread my pieces for this weekend and get a dent taken out of Wuthering Heights too. The fun don't stop in Cornwall, you just gotta grab on as it comes by.

Blog or Treat!

2006-10-31T22:07:00.000Z

The answer, of course, is both.

Just to let everyone know what my Hallowe'en's been like, today I gave a somewhat successful argument on why cannibalism is a good thing. I should assure all my readers that this was for an assignment and does NOT represent my personal views on the subject. If it turns out I am arrested for inspiring cannibalism in one or more members of my audience, know that I will feel very bad about because I'll be arrested, but I'll also know I totally nailed that assignment!

Worked a little bit with Adobe InDesign too. Neat little program. I might like to pick up a copy if I get to know it a bit better, I don't know. It costs 180 sterling if I buy it through the school, so I better be damn sure I want it before I consider buying the thing.

Aside from that, not much. I'm not going to any costume (or "fancy dress" as the British say) parties as of yet but I do have a kickass Neo all ready in the event. Pictures will follow as soon as I get around to putting it on and breaking the camera out. I've not taken any pictures in a long while, I should probably break that run soon.

'tis no man, nay, this be a blog

2006-10-30T22:35:00.000Z

My ass has been sitting on cold concrete in a place that smells of either poo or industrial adhesive for over an hour, so I'll be brief.

Today good. Me do many things that make me good. Me write story for bloc-online. Maybe not good, need work, but me write. Me also read. Like Guardian and Observer newspapers. Me just about perfect italian sausage recipe. Dan eats lots. Daughter of Marsha likes to bounce, it would seem. She cute, me allow.

Me sleep now.

Marooned for all eternity... blogged alive

2006-10-28T11:37:00.000Z

KHHHHAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I tried to take it easy. Did a bit of shopping, checked the bank (still no money), came back and did a touch of editing. A knock at the door. A mysterious man from BT, only no one said they were coming, so I'm a bit suspicious. He says he's here to set up our internet. He's the bestest guy ever. An hour later the guy says he can't because the landlord never gave him the access codes. So here I sit in our kitchen siphoning someone else's unsecured broadband, the dream remaining a dream. So... close....

I actually didn't do as much as I wanted yesterday because Duncan just had to get Family Guy: the Game. He went out for a freeview box, by the way, never happened. ANYWAY, he brought that home and we were just about useless for the rest of the day. The game's crap, total "fan-wank" as Duncan put it, but hey, we're fans of Family Guy. I didn't get up today until 12, it's been years since I've done that! I need to get a bunch of writing done today so I can hang with coursemates tonight. It's probably going to be the only socializing I dod this weekend, so I gotta make it count.

I blogged my pants

2006-10-25T23:13:00.000Z

Well, there's no denying it. I'm in England. The past two days it's been a very constant drizzly blah outside. Just from walking around my pants have gotten wet to the point that they're not wearable. I swear, it's the rain. Shout out to Libby Holmes back at Butler U, that umbrella you gave me doesn't look like much but is a wonder!

Yesterday was NOT a good day - it wasn't bad really, but it wasn't good either. For one thing, I rang up about $15K on my credit card because my student loans are THAT fucked up (Grandma, I'm sorry, I know the word 'Fuck' and use it occassionally), my essay was torn into in lectures, and I was homesick. I like lectures, they're informative and fun, I just really wasn't in the mood.

Today was better. Just a morning of lecture which was all about feature writing, quick lunch and a lot of errands. I set up my rent so that it'll take it directly from the bank, I picked up some shoe-cleaning supplies which I really need now (thanks, weather...), and some good for and ales. they're having a sale at Threshers (liquor store) where you can get any four independent ales for 5 pounds. They cost 1.75 normally, so heck yeah! Add that to the steak dinner I made and I'm sitting pretty. The bad news is that I got myself all worked up to finish up the Indiana Jones game with my writing group over Skype tonight, and only now noticed that the call went out two days ago. Granted, I would have been up until 4am tonight, but I was ready dammit!!

No closer to getting our own internet account, but the plumbeer should be coming by tomorrow to make our sinks work. My sink won't shut off once it gets started without a crescent wrench, and a few report green water out of theirs. It's an issue.

Captain's Blog:

2006-10-22T16:33:00.000Z

Been a while, sorry I haven't posted!

It's been a wild past few days. Friday was rough, I had to deal with the bank telling me it could take six weeks to cash my student loan checks, DHL for trying to charge 200 pounds in VAT on my laptop, and the landlord for thinking we'd all magically know what his plans were with the phone line. Not a good time. I'm getting through it, hopefully it'll all be resolved soon, but it was not fun. I needed to relax. I needed beer. Good thing the beer festival started that night!

Admission is buying your own pint glass, then you buy cheap pints or half pints with a selection of about 130 ales, ciders, and perries (like cider only with pears). I did not get wasted drunk, but I did get a very nice buzz out of it all. This was also a big opportunity to mingle - most of the people there were over 40, but enough were in my age range to talk to.

Saturday I was all over the place. There was an oyster festival in the town event square, so I had to try my first oyster. Not my new favorite food, but not as bad as I feared either. If a plate of these were put in front of me, I'd eat 'em. I also bought a couple pints of strawberries (much lighter in flavor to good ol' American berries, but they work), a block of strong cheddar, a bag of coffee, and a much-needed trash bin for our house. I came home and wrote a piece for class that was supposed to be first-person distinctive voice; I chose to write in the voice of the immigration officer who kept me for four hours. Turns out the dude has some issues. Oddly enough, I was pretty tired after all that. I was all ready to turn in a bit early, but no, the beer festival called yet again. This time I hung out almost exclusively with a few people from my course, one of which was from last year so we pumped her for gossip. We tried our hand at tabletop shuffleboard, turns out we suck at it. We also chatted it up with some of the bar staff for a while - Joe got a great idea for an article, I was this close to getting a 4-pint beer jug gratis, and we ended up getting locked in after closing time. That was just plain awesome, we got to drink some of what was left on the house. A few other people there at the time were just gone, seriously wasted, they were drinking from the dreg bucket. They made me drink from the dreg bucket. I drank from the dreg bucket. Thank God I'm still alive.

Today's been very quiet, no complaints there. Did laundry, edited my pieces for this week, played some games, good times. It's cold and rainy here. That's Cornwall for ya.

These keys were made for bloggin'

2006-10-18T17:19:00.000Z

The story of me, Duncan, and the dark dark forest can be found in the comments section on the last post. I also edited the links on the right of the page to something actually relevant to... well, anything, really.

I've got a picture now on my profile. It's not a picture of me, I need a fresh one for that. I'm still working on resizing my pics of the area for web viewing. Unless you want pictures twice as big as your monitor that don't load? Nah, who'd want that?

Fist Full’a Blog

2006-10-16T19:28:00.000Z

That will never get old, right up until the minute it gets old.

One thing I’ve learned is that British shops are very domesticly minded when it comes to sausage. They have various brands of breakfast sausages and Cumberland sausages, but if you ask for any other kind you get blank stares, as if to say “go to that country if you like their sausage so much”. I’m a big fan of Italian food, so not having ready-to-heat Italian sausage is new and distressing to me. Tonight I surfed around and found a few recipes for making your own, shopped for the ingredients, then made substitution guesses when no one had them. For the curious:

-1lb ground pork
-good splash of water (they also suggest wine)
-1-2 cloves garlic, pressed or minced
-1 tbsp parsley
-1 tbsp cumin (They ask for fennel seed, which I couldn’t find. Apparently it’s in the same family as cumin.)
-1/2 tsp salt
-1/2 tsp ground pepper
-dash of crushed red pepper

It fried up dry, as raw meat is supposed to have a 3:1 meat-to-fat ratio for sausage, but for a first try I say not bad. The flatmates liked it

We got introduced to http://www.bloc-online.com/ today, the website we pro writing students are going to run this year. I’d be comfortably excited about this since it means I’ll have to pick up web design basics now and it’s something I can link to, but there’s a catch. The site was nominated for a Guardian Media Award, which means the nation will be looking at it. This means we can’t fuck up too badly. PRESSURE!

I beat Halo on Normal yesterday. I tried the first few levels on Heroic and guess what? They’re hard. Can you tell I’m stretching for subject matter right now? The end of the day would be my first guess for writing a blog entry, but my brain is fried. If this is a regular thing, I may have to wait until the morning after to write stuff, and by then I forget all the juicy bits.

There’s a blogging phenomenon I’ve known about for a while, but that doesn’t help me when I experience first hand. Blogs like this are supposed to be personal stories. They’re what you think at the time you write them. It’s online, though, so people ARE going to read it. A line forms: on one side is the safety of banal reports on what you did today, nothing that could possibly offend anyone reading it. On the other side of the line are the sordid, gritty bits that involve the people you see, talk, and work with on a daily basis. Will they be offended if you talk about them in your blog, or will they be offended if you don’t? Can you write something in your blog your real life friends don’t know about? What about work? We’ve all heard stories about people that’ve written about their jobs and were subsequently fired, where’s the line there? I’m finding my own answers to these kinds of questions as I move along, and it feels a lot like walking a tightrope. Only thing I can guess is that one has to have a really firm idea what they want their blog to do and stick to it.

To test this, I’m going to try something. This weekend me and Duncan had an arduous, slightly embarrassing adventure. I know he reads this blog and would just as soon not see my account on here, and since I live with him I should consider his opinion. I also know it’s a funny story and other people that read this blog would enjoy it. So, I’ll compromise. For Duncan’s sake, I won’t write the story in the blog. If you’re intrigued by the story, let me know on the comments page and I’ll write about it in there. Is this an actual experiment in hypertext psychology or an excuse to get more comments? Only history can tell.

Tomorrow I have to read an essay I wrote on why higher education should only be for the rich. I’ll be taking a very long hot shower tomorrow evening.

I sense much blog in you, young Jedi

2006-10-13T17:54:00.000Z

So today half of my class went to a Business Writing Seminar right in the middle of town. Not me. WHY????? you ask? It was my intention to make my way to Penzance and attend a workshop on pitches for stories. Would have been right up my alley, too, if it weren't for the fact that I am an idiot child when it comes to public transit systems. Blame my inferior American upbringing, I guess. Still, I got a lot done here.

I finally got my federal loans today, so the first thing I did was take 'em down to the bank, where they told me they'd have to go to the central branch because they were in dollars and too much money, so I might have it in my account next week. I've never been told that me having too much money was an inconvenience before. I should milk it, but how?

I got myself a cheap slice of pizza, and when I say cheap I mean someone hit a tomato, wiped the mess up with a piece of bread, threw some cheese on it and called it pizza. It didn't matter, I was hungry. Halfway threw I realized this did nothing to satisfy my pizza craving, so it was just as well when a huge fucking seagull flew right up behind me and snatched the thing right out of my goddamn hand. Jeebus, it was right oout of a Stephen King novel (still haven't started On Writing by the way). I noticed as it was flying off that it had a lot of competition for the pizza, little shit deserves the heat. "No worries" I tell myself, "I'll try that Great Shakes place and all will be well."

Wrong. They do a lot of things right in Britain. Tea, ladies, fish, they do okay. They should just leave milkshakes alone, though. It's a shame, too. I watched as he put in real fruit and enough ice cream to build an igloo, but what I got was hardly satisfying.

Still, something new experienced. Name of the game here. Pretty quiet for the rest of the day. Not much planned for the weekend, I'll probably get ahead on my work placement stuff. (For the uninitiated, that's code for playing Halo.)

Here I sit, bloggin' hearted...

2006-10-11T13:26:00.000Z

The titles of these posts are something I intend to have a lot of fun with, regardless of the fun other people might have with them.

The second day of the Blake Snyder workshop was incredible. He hands out this sheet of templates for leading characters, 'heroes' that Hollywood is using and buying by the truckload and that the consumer is, in turn, also buying. There are two women in the workshop who pullthe emergency stop on the seminar and hold it for half an hour just complaining that there aren't many women on the sheet. Now, I have no problem with strong women, truth is I prefer them, and I'd love to see more, but the reality is there aren't many in movies these days. They take their displeasure of this out on Blake, all the while saying "No, I'm not attacking you..." but at the same time telling him "it's your duty to include these characters". I swear, direct quote, I nearly died.

He also went through the scripts and pitches of people from the workshop and ran them through his pattern, and they seemed like genuinely good ideas. One's a movie about a man that tries to commit suicide only to find himself a daffodil picker, another about a delinquent young man that find a better life through Morris dancing. I swear about this last one, in five years you'll be hearing about a movie called either "Clogging In" or "With Bells On", and you'll hear yourself saying "I want to see that". It'll be a surreal experience when it happens to you, I still don't think I've recovered. I brought mine in, but thanks to the PC-Pronoun Council we couldn't fit it into the class.

A few things you should probably know: Blake Snyder IS a three-year-old child in terms of energy; he never stops going, he never stops smiling, he is a dynamo. Up until this moment, I was wondering in the back of my mind if this was nervous energy, and the guy was so jittery getting up in front of us that he might crumble at the first instance of pressure. Dude's response to the criticism? "Name one." They couldn't. The dude's a rock.

We watched some clips of a few blockbusters to see in action what he'd been talking about the past two days, and it's all there. There are plenty of big movies made that don't follow this structure, but they're movies that also just don't work.

Afterwards, those of us from Falmouth held him back half an hour for a mini-interview, and then he went through the story I'd brought in but couldn't do in the workshop! One-on-one meeting with an established film writer? Yeah, that was worth getting hosed in the workshop. I learned about a lot of problems with my story just in presenting the beats to him, and he brought up a few other points I need to work on. I may not use them all, keep in mind that he wrote "Blank Check", so there are differences in our tastes, but he told me I had a really good idea and hoped I would keep in touch.

Can you f&*&ing believe that?!?!?!?!

Also in this workshop, apparently Cornwall has some kind of magic aura to it. When you live here for any significant length of time, it does something to you. That's kind of what I left home for, but hearing that the location is some kind of mystical nexus of "Bam! you've changed" is kinda intimidating. I'll be sure to let everyone know if it's true or not.

I'm here in the student bar on campus, typing away in my "quiet" little corner waiting for my tutorial session to come up. I'm just about dead last. I'm penultimate. I have an hour to wait, and I've been waiting for nearly two. Thank god for laptops. This may become my A-#1 day to post. I should be working, but screw that. I'm in grad school, I should get me a beer.

Blake Snyder Workshop

2006-10-08T18:04:00.000Z

Today was Day 1 of the two day Script workshop by Blake Snyder. It went from 9-5 and was some of the most intense stuff I've ever experienced. I'll probably write up a full report after Day 2 when I get a chance but I'll say this: I'm buying a copy of his screenwriting book, and I'll bet everyone I know who likes writing stories could benefit greatly from it.

Still so much to do before I sleep...

Great Night Tonight

2006-10-04T20:28:00.000Z

So all day today we have towork with some actors the school shipped in to act out the scripts we wrote yesterday (adapted from The Man from the South). They were good people, very nice, knew their stuff, great actors on the fly, and gave feedback. Ours was the last group, so we had a few hours before we could really work with them. We went back to my place (it's very nice, apparently, by student standards) and blocked out the scene mostly, then broke for a couple of hours because we could. I cleaned the kitchen and played a level of Halo. I love Halo. Then we met back at the school - actually, I went back to the school, was told someone had taken the cleaver so I had to run back home to get a knife, only to return and find TWO cleavers on the set, making me breathless and displeased - to shoot our scene. Being the last group and having to give the actors a chance to go to the refectory before acting meant we were crunched for time. I was director, which only happened because I'd been on a set before, so I was barking orders, making calls that maybe shouldn't have been mine to make, and basically being the loudest American I could be. We got done on time and afterwards the actors seemed very pleased with the way it went, the other people in our group seemed pleased, the overall director seemed very eager to leave, so I think it went well. The actors, one other person in my group named Joe, and myself went to the student bar for a drink after, and we just hung out for a bit. It was a very short bit as they were closing the bar very early that night because they're jerks. So I'm sitting with a troupe of four actors, ages 30-60, another Pro Writing student, sipping alcohol and listening to violent dirty stories, and y'know what? I made the right choice. I'm glad I'm here.

Tonight's Porn Night at some bar. I'm not entirely sure what that entails, but popular belief at the house is that you are almost guaranteed to leave with a date for the evening. Works great on paper, but in practice???? Not tonight, I need sleep more than anything.

So apparently this counts for credit

2006-10-02T21:43:00.000Z

It turns out that at least one blog is "highly recommended" by the Pro Writing profs. One for reading, that is reflecting on the reading assignments and their impact on my writing, and another for writing, how much and what it felt like. I guess.

Yep, Day 1 of the class is under my belt. IN. TENSE. This week is all about us filming a shortmovie based on Roaul Dahl's short story "The Man from the South." I have plenty of short film experience, especially when it comes to the quick and the cheap (thank you Garrett, Jeff, and Ray, in no order, for all your help over the years), so to me this is a walk in the park. Everyone else in the class is freaked. Wankers.

Most of the profs are very easy going. One speaks with no accent, so I'm thinking American, but is the hardass of the group. He wanted us to write three pages for next week on the pros and cons of prenups. Also we have to write 750-800 words on stains, but that's for another, easier-going prof.

This is going to be a hard year, but I can tell I'm going to get so much out of it it's criminal. Now if I can just find me a bonny English lass, I'll be in great shape, but I suppose I should just be thankful for what I've got.

Still Haven't died

2006-10-01T19:21:00.000Z

Just checking in right now, not much new to report. I'm waiting until I have internet at the house to do a real update, which keeps seeming farther and farther away. I have a cell phone now, bank account is imminent, even the student loans are just about done. The scholarship essay is sent in, classes start tomorrow, all is pretty much well. Not on for too much longer, so see ya!

So THIS is Falmouth...

2006-09-24T13:28:00.000Z

Been here for a little less than a week, but that's been a very, VERY interesting week. Some notable moments...

-Four hours in immigration. I think that may count for time in prison.
-Met four out of five roommates. I got VERY lucky in that one.
-Nice house. My room may be haunted, though. We'll see.
-Three days to get my key. Heather & Lay aren't the most understanding bunch, about a lot of things.
-In Norway, any American is a celebrity. I was uncomfortble at first, but then the tall blonde girl sat on my lap.
-Yesterday I bodyboarded for the first time ever. I can't believe it, I'm near the ocean and using it! What the hell???

I'm going to try and get a bank account here, get a cash flow started. It could be over a week before our house internet is set up. Not a long post this time, got a lot to do yet. But so far, I'm doing alright!

[Philosophical Moment]

2006-09-17T03:00:00.000Z

This past week has been a very stressful one for me. I've been going non-stop trying to get all the last little things together to make my travel a smooth one, and as usually happens, I ran myself too hard and crashed in the form of an ear infection. I'm just about ready to hit the road, but I'm still nervous as fuck.

The reason is I'm about to go through a monumental change in my life. I'm going to grad school, I'm going to be living in another country, I'm going to be cut off from all the people I know and surroounded by people I don't. Bigger than that, I realized in living with the folks again, is this is the first time I'll be living without the support structure of my family, who I've always relied upon.

This is NOT a bad thing for me, I'm starting to understand. It's a huge change, but it can be the source of huge improvements. I'm going to have to take command of a lot of things that, until now, I've left to chance. In college I met most of my friends through a single person that liked to be in charge of other people's lives, and while I've singled out the ones I prefer over the years, I'd rather have met them on my own terms. Jobs are things that are usually gotten through friends, and that'll always be a factor, but for what I want to do, I'm going to have to make my own connections in a real hurry. It's going to be hard, but if/ when I get through it, I'll be a better person.

This year in England is going to be a telling point on a lot of aspects of my life. All I can do is hope I can make the best of it, and do everything to see it done. "Do! Or do not. There is no try."

[/Philosophical Moment]

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

2006-09-14T19:10:00.000Z

The past seven weeks, there's been one big thing I've had to take care of: my student visa. To get it, I need my passport, proof of enrollment, proof of residency, and documentation that I can pay for it all. It was this last part I was waiting on, then I could go to the embassy in Chicago, pick up my visa, spend the night at Evan's drinking, come home and spend one last weekend in Indy. That's out the window now.

See, after spending all week trying to track down my loan forms with Sallie Mae, it turns out what I needed was the letter from the school saying I was approved, and that I got last week. So I make plans to go up to Chicago Friday morning, which someone leaked to the Fates and the Fates said "Nay." See, two things happened this morning. One: I woke up at 2 a.m. with my left ear about to rip itself apart. An ear infection and me three days from an international flight. Two: Friday is 100% booked at the British Embassy, so even if I was healthy enough to drive five hours, they wouldn't let me in. So, yeah, no visa for me. I'll have to get a temporary one when I land and get the official one later, a strategy highly unrecommended by the school, but what else am I going to do? WHAT?!?!?!?

Marsha laughed hysterically at this. It was funny.

Testing Continues...

2006-09-09T14:57:00.000Z

I was over at Bethany's last night, sipping fine liquors and discussing various enlightened topics of the day with fellow outstanding citizens of the local area (read: getting drunk and talking smack), when blogs came up. Bethany has one on this very service, I discovered, so I'll be linking to it soon as I can find it again. Funny thing was, when I pointed her to mine, only the first post came up. This was disconcerting, she should have seen three. She also has a whole bunch of personalized stuff incorporated into her template, while I'm just sporting the standard shell. So much more to do with this e-bitch. Learned today that Indy Game for this Sunday's been cancelled due to Garret's work schedule. I was really looking forward to finishing this last adventure with them before heading out, but there's some comfort knowing that it's not my fault.

I wanted to visit Rory, Evan, and the Grand'rents before leaving, but that could be tricky with this being my last week here. I'll be going up to Chicago so Evan's kind of a done deal; he wanted a weekend but that just ain't happening, little bro. Rory, if I can manage it, will also have to settle for a weekday evening, I think. Grandma and Grandpa are easier to please in this respect, snce they don't have any binding reservations during the day. Still, lots to do.

Here's a test photo. I'm going to have to take some more recent photos. Also, Blogger REALLY doesn't like imageshack photos. Going to have to work on that.

Troubleshooting

2006-09-07T19:29:00.000Z

So apparently I can't see my second entry. Don't know if that's a problem with me or the server, but I aim to rectify this sitiashun by the time I leave the States. So here's hoping.

One step closer, two steps back

2006-09-05T17:36:00.000Z

Every time I wrap up one project, I find two more to work on. My student loan got approved, but now I need to get my visa, which means probably another trip to Chicago; Julia Carson's office wants to get involved, but I don't know what they can do. And the dog's going mad, hang on...

There's a bunch of Evan's stuff on the driveway that he didn't want at his apartment in Chicago, so it's just sitting out there. I'd be a bit nervous of it getting stolen if our 100-pound dog wasn't deranged about visitors.

This blog is OVER!!!

What's this, some kind of blog?

2006-09-01T16:16:00.000Z

Well, it was bound to happen. I am now a blogger. Lord help the internets.

I'll have a bunch of things going up here soonthe closerI get to leaving the US, but for now I'm just playing a bit.